Where do I start?
I've asked myself that question more than once while writing this.
Do I start with where I was born? My childhood? The first experience I couldn't explain? Or the day my life changed forever?
I suppose the best place to start is Birmingham.
I was born there and grew up in a single-parent household after my mum left my dad when I was just six months old. Like many people, my childhood was a mixture of happy memories and difficult ones. I don't want to go into every detail because, at the end of the day, it's my past. What I will say is that those experiences helped shape the person I am today.
I was lucky enough to have two amazing aunts in my life. One taught me independence from a young age. The other, without ever realising it, probably introduced me to Spiritualism long before either of us knew where life would eventually take me.
At the time, Spiritualism wasn't even on my radar.
The things I couldn't explain
When I was younger, I went away to Wales with a church youth group. One night, everyone else stayed up chatting, but I was tired and headed off to bed.
As I walked upstairs, I saw what I can only describe as a white or grey figure.
It frightened me.
I ran straight to my room, hid under the quilt and tried to forget all about it.
And that's exactly what I did.
The years rolled by.
I grew up, started work and, like most people, experienced life's highs and lows.
I'd always had an interest in the paranormal. Every now and then I'd watch programmes like Most Haunted and wonder whether there was more to life than we could see, but it never really went any further than that.
Over the years I visited a Spiritualist church in Birmingham a couple of times, simply hoping to receive a message or a bit of guidance. Both times I received exactly what I needed, thanked the medium and carried on with life.
It's only now I realise how often Spiritualism crossed my path.
At the time, I never gave it much thought.
When everything changed
Life eventually brought me to the North East.
It was there that I got married, became a dad and carried on with life, never imagining where it would eventually lead me.
After my stepdad, who I simply called Dad because that's exactly what he was to me, passed away, I travelled back to Birmingham.
One evening I was getting ready to go out. Everyone else had already left the house and I was completely alone.
Then I heard someone shout my name.
It was my dad's voice.
I searched every room because I genuinely thought someone must still be in the house.
Nobody was.
I couldn't explain it, so I carried on as normal.
After being back in Birmingham for a short time, I moved back to the North East and, like everything else, life moved on.
It wasn't until 2023 that everything changed.
Without going into every detail, I reached the lowest point of my life.
A point where I genuinely didn't want to be here anymore.
As I reached for the door handle to leave the house, I felt myself pulled backwards.
Not violently.
Just enough to stop me.
I was completely alone.
I sat down, burst into tears and, as clear as anything, the words “Spiritualist church” came into my mind.
I searched for one nearby.
The message I never expected
I didn't walk through those doors because I wanted to become a medium.
Far from it.
I walked through those doors hoping I might find a little peace.
During one of the first services I attended, a husband and wife were serving together.
The lady came to me with a message. Before she finished, she smiled and said Spirit had one more thing to say.
She told me that one day I'd be doing mediumship myself.
I smiled politely.
Inside, though, I was thinking, “You've definitely got the wrong person.”
A few weeks later I attended another service.
Another medium.
Another message.
Again I was told I'd be doing mediumship.
I still didn't believe it.
Then, a few weeks later, another medium finished their message by saying, “Spirit tells me that within six months you'll be standing on the rostrum.”
Three different mediums.
Three separate occasions.
The same message.
I still wasn't convinced.
But I was definitely curious.
So... I went.
Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I started attending the church's Open Circle.
I'd never been to anything like it before and, if I'm honest, I hadn't got a clue what to expect.
At the beginning of each Circle, after the opening prayer and hymn, everyone would spend a few quiet moments settling themselves and connecting with Spirit.
At the time, I didn't know that's what everyone was doing.
I just closed my eyes because everyone else did.
Looking back, I think I'd attended a couple of Open Circles before anything really happened. My memory's a little hazy on exactly which week it was, but one evening, as I walked into the Circle, the gentleman who often sat beside me was already there.
He smiled as I came in and I sat down beside him.
Before we'd even started, he quietly said,
"You're going to give off tonight."
I remember thinking, "What on earth is he talking about?"
At the time, I didn't even know what "giving off" meant.
Later that evening, as I sat there quietly, I started seeing things.
I wasn't sure whether I was imagining them or whether I should say anything.
He gently nudged me and quietly said,
That was enough.
I stood up, holding onto the back of the chair because my whole body was shaking with nerves.
I honestly don't remember much about the message itself.
What I do remember is somebody taking it.
I remember looking at him thinking, "How on earth does he know?"
At the time, I had no idea he was also connected to Spirit.
Afterwards I asked him how he knew.
He simply smiled and replied, "I just do."
It was only afterwards, when we got talking properly, that I found out his name was Harry.
The feeling afterwards is something I'll never forget, and it's difficult to put into words.
Not because I'd stood up.
Not because I'd managed to get through it.
Learning to trust
From there I started attending a development class and everything slowly began to grow.
I was taught how to protect myself, how to understand what Spirit was showing me, and how to interpret signs, words, colours and everything in between.
I met people who encouraged me, challenged me and helped me trust what Spirit was showing me.
My first tutor was Trudy. Watching her work at the Open Circle was inspiring, and she gave me the foundations I still rely on today.
As my journey continued, Pauline, who also taught at the church and regularly attended the Open Circle, became another important part of my development. She helped me see mediumship from a different perspective and added to everything I'd already learned.
Looking back now, I can honestly say they both helped shape the medium I've become.
There were moments when I doubted myself.
Moments when I questioned whether I was imagining things.
Moments when I wondered whether I was good enough.
But every experience taught me something.
Not just about mediumship.
About people.
About compassion.
About listening.
About service.
Still learning.
Looking back now, it's hard to believe how much has changed in such a short space of time.
I've had the privilege of serving churches, helping to establish The Circle @ Greenside, meeting incredible people and continuing to develop every single day.
One thing that hasn't changed is how I see myself.
I'm still learning.
I hope that never changes.
Every church I serve, every Open Circle I attend and every person I meet teaches me something new.
The day I think I've learned everything is the day I stop growing.
If there's one thing this journey has taught me, it's that life can change when you least expect it.
I certainly never imagined where mine would lead.
If you've taken the time to read my journey, thank you.
Whether you're simply curious about Spiritualism, looking for comfort, or you've found yourself here for a reason only you know, I hope my journey has given you a better understanding of who I am and why I do what I do.
And if our paths happen to cross one day, whether at a church, an Open Circle or somewhere completely unexpected, I'll look forward to meeting you.